Through the fish-eyed lens of tear stained eyes

Blog entry #4 - 5/15/2025

I accidentally started beef at work today and its only my second day!!!(╥ᆺ╥；) I really didnt mean to, im still only in training but one of the people i was shadowing got really upset at another worker i shadowed earlier for suggesting that we do something the way that our manager likes... i rly hope i didnt create a lasting feud w someone im gonna be spending lots of hours with O_O. Im slowly getting the hang of being a drive up and go shopper but the emphasis is on slow. Theres a lot of little details that are hard to remember but Im sure will sink in with time and practice. Im just nervous for when they let me free on my own... i feel like a duckling following the other workers around lol. I swear im compitent im just clumsy and have bad hearing/audio processing!! Besides how tired my feet get, the job is pretty nice. Its kind of fun to get an odd window into peoples lives through their grocery orders too. I hope thats not too creepy to say. At the end of my shift I bought some stuff for myself too since im going to ACen this weekend!! Im still not sure if I wanna do any cosplay or not. I dont do much cosplay but I do have a nice outfit for Kris from Deltarune but theres no undertale or deltarune meetups at all!!! Thats insane to me!! I know im more of a gamer than I am of an anime fan but that still seems crazy. maybe next year I should call ahead of time and try and organize the cosplay meetup. IDK what the process of scheduling that is but ive been to some pretty shitty panels before so it cant be too bad LMAO. I think being my frat's event scheduler for 2+ years would prepare me for whatever paperwork I have to fill out. Theres also the possibility of me cosplaying nightmare moon from my little pony since theres a meetup for that. I kinda just wanna dress in some fun outfits but cosplay is also really fun, im just kinda bummed theres no deltarune meetup and im reluctant to commit to cosplaying since I'll have to wear it for 12+ hours and (if i do it tomorrow) wear it for 40 min of public transit too. Ah whatever. I'll sleep on it and figure it out tomorrow. for now, I'm gonna make some bracelets to trade with ppl :3

Blog entry #3 - 5/12/2025

OK... have worked a lot on the site in the past week and right now im in the midst of completely changing the navigation system. what i want is to have a cute little window on the side for navigation but im still struggling so bad to figure out how to replicate what ive seen and am inspired by. ive just been toying with wrappers to see what will get me my desired result. for now I have it in the right place but its still just a very basic list of links. uuughh. besides that ive had a really great week. Ive been playing lots of minecraft with some friends online, got to visit a friend in person and make pickle lemonade (it was actually really tasty!) and also visit my grandma and other extended family for mothers day. We catered raising canes and ended up with WAAAAY too many sauce cups so now we are just hoarding them in the fridge lol. ill have to use those on some chicken this week.

adding to this later in the day. had therapy and then i ruminated for a while -_- sometimes the path to healing involves being really emo and eating ben + jerry's peanut butter half baked (one of their best flavors imo). Writing this towards the end of the day feeling a lot better while chilling with friends in call.

Blog entry #2 - 5/6/2025

Today I made the blog a seperate page and hopefully it should work now, even if it is rudimentary :P I really like this shade of teal for the background. Not only is it a great color but it feels very old-school! In other news, I'm gonna be trying some new meds for my OCD soon and I also have a job interview today at a chain grocery. I applied for the bakery and deli positions. I really hope I can get hired as a baker! It would be so awesome to get paid to decorate cakes and cookies and stuff.

Blog entry #1 - 4/29/2025

Ive started using pheonix code to mess around with coding and so far its been going alright! It will be annoying to have to move all the image files once im ready to upload everything to nekoweb, but I'd be more than happy if that ends up being the only issue in transfering my code to the website. the CSS file on there just doesnt want to listen to me! I want to put an anrgy face here but the symbols keep messing with the code lol.